Mustard comedy magazine: Issue #06
Mustard issue 06 doodle

Issue #06


Mustard 06 Editorial

- Alex

This issue's Evil Corporate Sponsor
This issue's Obligatory Movie Quote
"Would you say I had a plethora?"

In this issue:


Satirical News & Articles

Eat, Shït, and Die

Eat, Shït, and Die

Sandwich chain's name inspires other brands

Harnessing emotions could solve energy crisis

Harnessing emotions
to solve energy crisis

Fuelled by kittens and outrage

Binge watching ravages middle class

Binge watching addicts

Middle-class Brits hooked on American product

Catholic rewards card app

Catholic rewards app

What do points make? Piety!

Meeting minutes

Meeting minutes

Mills & Boon-reading secretary
spices up meeting notes

Matt Berry's Albums That Changed My Life

Matt Berry's Albums That Changed My Life

#6: Klondike: Best of Klondike

Comic Strip

Hail to the King

Hail to the King

The rise and fall of President Elvis

Stories & Characters

Derring Dos & Don'ts: #7: Wealth

Derring Dos & Don'ts
pt.7: Wealth

"I've outlived several of my children; it's been open season on them from birth."

Writer's Block: Management Tips

Writer's Block
#7: Management Tips

"Break the ice in boring meetings with a short introductory rap."

Skinny & Nod

Skinny & Nod
#6: Closet

"Yeah, it's been praised for its really tense atmosphere."


Freudian Slip

Freudian Slip

New from Inappropriate Lingerie Ltd

Movie Posters


In Brief

Cricket body admits rules made up as they go along

Cricket body admits
rules made up as they go along,
"Just like Mornington Crescent"

A.M. / S.C.

Scarf ace

Scarf Ace
"I really like this scarf!"
Inside Al Pacino's wardrobe

A.M. / S.C.

Britain sells NHS to America

Britain sells NHS to America
Infrastructure to be shipped over on giant tankers

A.M. / J.B.

Northampton tube

Northampton tube opens for business
"A transport system to rival that of London"


We shall never give in to your demands

"We shall never give in to your demands, no matter how reasonable!"

A.M. / J.B.

Morrissey dancers

Morrissey dancers
New craze sweeps England

A.M. / J.B.

Puzzle corner

Fill in the squares with the relevant letter, number or symbol so that each longitudinal and latitudinal string creates a perfect emotional singularity.
Last week's solution:
The soft pleasure of a cool pillow against the skin.


Travel Twister

Travel Twister
Left middle-finger green / right index-finger blue / right little-finger yellow / right ring-finger red / left index-finger yellow / left middle-finger green / right ring-finger blue / right little-finger red / left ring-finger blue.
Tie breaker: left thumb green.


Where's Wally Wordsearch

Where's Wally Wordsearch
Can you find him?


One-Panel Cartoons


John Lloyd caricature

John Lloyd

I see my life is a series of ghastly mistakes
that somehow turned out alright in the end.

The legendary producer on Blackadder, QI, Spitting Image,
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Not The Nine O'Clock News and more.
15,000 words

Paper People

Paper People: John Lloyd, QI, Blackadder

John Lloyd Paper People

Cut-out-and-make QI and Blackadder casts.

Letters Page

Letters Page

Letters Page: Issue #06

"A few days later, plop on the doormat."

Covers & Posters



Mustard #06 page 01
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Mustard #06

All text and images are © their respective authors.

Cover: Doodle version by A.W.
Real version: Design by A.M., John Lloyd photo by James McNaught, illos by A.W.

Thanks: Isabel Hopwood, Leslie Cummins, Steve Jones, Lloyd Langford, Pete More,
Alan Moore, Victoria Lloyd, Richard Turner, Val Stevenson and James Sherwood.

This issue is dedicated to Pamela Musson (neé Norris), for giving me:
1) the energy and impetus to do the new colour Mustard mags; 2) Kids.

Footer gags: TOP TEN PREQUELS:
Penultimate Fighter · Economic Migrant Kane · Schindler's Initial Brainstorming Session · Two Dalmatians · Med Student Zhivago · Indiana Jones And The Impending Archeology Dissertation · The Elephant Boy · High 11:59 · Eating Too Much Cheese Before Going To Bed On Elm Street · Hummin' In The Drizzle · Harry Potter And The Enchanted Womb · The Main Part Of The Day · How Are We Gonna Cross This Bloody River Kwai? · Night Of The Living

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The Complete Mustard

Mustard comedy magazine compendium
Mustard comedy magazine

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Myth Management: a Young Adult Urban Fantasy novel by Alex Musson
Myth Management: a Young Adult Urban Fantasy novel by Alex Musson

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