Mustard comedy magazine: Issue #05a
Mustard issue 05a doodle

Issue #05a


Mustard Lee & Herring Editorial

- Alex

This issue's Evil Corporate Sponsor
This issue's Obligatory Movie Quote
"We lost the band!"

In this issue:


Satirical News & Articles

Richard Pryor in The Good Life

Richard Pryor in The Good Life

Great Casting Mistakes in History

Creators of Vanity Mirror launch Gluttony Fridge

Gluttony Fridge

From the creators of the Vanity Mirror

Richmond destroyed by pasta-antipasta explosion

Pasta-antipasta explosion

Richmond completely vaporised

Obituary of a hedgerowsexual

Obituary of a hedgerowsexual

D. E. Obituary died in a flowerbed

Recession hits Tyrell corp

Recession hits Tyrell Corp

New models have boggly eyes and nylon hair

Movie Title Recycle

Movie titles recycled

Studio to re-use famous film titles

Matt Berry's Albums That Changed My Life

Matt Berry's Albums That Changed My Life

#5: London, Quakermass 1979

Comic Strips

Reservoir Nuns

Reservoir Nuns

Let's go to church

Muffin the Drugs Mule

Muffin the Drugs Mule

A fun trip to Columbia

I Married a Zombie

I Married a Zombie


Stories & Characters

Derring Dos & Don'ts: #5: The Poor

Derring Dos & Don'ts
pt.5: Poor

"Sponge off your relatives: I've wrung my folks, in strict rotation, 'til they squeaked."

Skinny & Nod

Skinny & Nod
#5: Bag

"There's a good case for locking up anyone normal looking."

Infographics & Adverts

Carpe PM: Sieze the Afternoon

Carpe PM

Sieze the Afternoon

Your House From Space

Your House From Space

A photograph to treasure

101 Empty Platitudes

101 Empty Platitudes

A banal cliché for every occasion

Movie Posters & Mag Covers

One-Panel Cartoons

Overheard: Different? Getting a sex change is just weird

A.M. / H.S


Stewart Lee caricature

Stewart Lee

I don't want my career to be a smash-and-grab raid.
I'm in this for the long haul.

The comedian, writer and director talks stand-up, TV shows, Jerry Springer The Opera and being 'the comedian's comedian'.
10,000 words

Paper People

Paper People: Stewart Lee

Stewart Lee Paper Person

Cut-out-and-make comedian.

Cult Corner

Alan Moore on Jack Trevor Storey

Cult Corner: Jack Trevor Storey

Alan Moore waxes lyrical on the author of The Trouble With Harry.

True Stories

#1: Face: Off

"I could see my ear next to my shoulder."

#2: A swell time

"Tears spurt vertically from my eyes."

Letters Page

Letters Page

Letters Page: Issue #05a

"The most middle class thing I've ever read."

Covers & Posters



Mustard #05a page 01
Mustard #05a page 02Mustard #05a page 03Mustard #05a page 04Mustard #05a page 05Mustard #05a page 06Mustard #05a page 07Mustard #05a page 08Mustard #05a page 09Mustard #05a page 10Mustard #05a page 11Mustard #05a page 12Mustard #05a page 13Mustard #05a page 14Mustard #05a page 15Mustard #05a page 16Mustard #05a page 17Mustard #05a page 18Mustard #05a page 19Mustard #05a page 20Mustard #05a page 21Mustard #05a page 22Mustard #05a page 23Mustard #05a page 24Mustard #05a page 25Mustard #05a page 26Mustard #05a page 27Mustard #05a page 28Mustard #05a page 29Mustard #05a page 30Mustard #05a page 31Mustard #05a page 32Mustard #05a page 33Mustard #05a page 34Mustard #05a page 35Mustard #05a page 36

Mustard #05a

All text and images are © their respective authors.

Cover: Doodle version by A.W.
Real version: Stewart Lee photo © Steve Ullathorne

Thanks: Isabel Hopwood, Warren Ayling, Alex Ashworth, Guy Cuthbertson, Val Stevenson,
James Sherwood, Lindsey Clarke, Peter More, Pamela Norris, Kevin O'Neill.

This issue is dedicated to everyone born on September 12th 2010.

Footer gags: TOP TEN SEQUELS:
Troy 2: Must Troy Harder · Withnail and II · Ei8ht · Saw VIII: Really Saw · The Wine of Wrath · The Searchers II: Oh, wait, here it is · Taken 2: The Cleaners · Care Home Alone · Thelma & Louise II: Secret Parachutes · Bring Me the Rest of Alfredo Garcia · XI Men · The Postgraduate · Beverly Hills Security Guard

More issues »

The Complete Mustard

Mustard comedy magazine compendium
Mustard comedy magazine

Get the Mustard  Compendium: 
PDF  ยท  Paperback

The complete 336-page collection of all 9¼ issues,
featuring new and updated funny stuff, plus expanded interviews.


Myth Management

Out now: Mustard's first spin-off novel

Myth Management: a Young Adult Urban Fantasy novel by Alex Musson
Myth Management: a Young Adult Urban Fantasy novel by Alex Musson

Paperback  £8.99  ·

Kindle  £2.99  ·