Recession hits Tyrell Corp - Mustard comedy magazine
Recession hits Tyrell Corp

Recession hits Tyrell Corp

Budget cuts at biotech company Tyrell have led them to change their motto from "more human than human" to the more prosaic "plastic, but cheap!".

Dr Eldon Tyrell told a press conference that they would be concentrating on more affordable models. "The Nexus 7 is a new direction for us," he said. "And although they have boggly eyes, nylon hair and pincer-claws instead of hands, we feel they're going to be a big hit with budget-conscious consumers."

Asked about the possibility of the new models escaping from an off-World colony and going on a killing spree in Los Angeles, Dr Tyrell was quick to calm fears.

"They couldn't harm a fly. Quite literally. They have the computing power of a washing machine, their glued-on arms can be easily pulled off and they won't be leaping between buildings as they only have one leg. You don't even need a Voight-Kampff test to identify them, as their heads are moulded plastic."

Early Amazon reviews described it as "more Nora Batty than Roy."

~ R.B.


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