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Girl on train is soulmate in
fellow passenger's imagination

An attractive girl on the westbound overground tube last night was imagined by a fellow traveller to be his perfect match

girl on train

Having noticed the striking young woman sitting opposite him, passenger Milton Hence (28) pictured her as his perfect partner, sharing romantic candlelit dinners together and discussing the novels of Paul Auster long into the night.

Extrapolating wildly from her slightly indie clothes and the top of a book protruding from her bag, Hence imagined them attending retrospectives of the early films of Terry Gilliam and bonding over a shared love of shortlived science fiction series Firefly.

But in reality, the girl, 27-year-old administrative assistant Stacie Putnam, was reading a Sex and the City novelisation, had switched over in disinterest after 10 minutes of Time Bandits, and had often declared that all science fiction was "stupid".

Fortunately, the fragile bubble of

Hence's daydream was left unpricked, as he failed to make any contact with Putnam during their 15-minute shared journey, abandoning his plan to hand her the doodle he had drawn in his notebook in case it "came across a bit stalkery".

Indeed, when the girl at one point made eye contact with Hence and smiled, he blushed and quickly looked down at his feet.

Miss Putnam was the third girl to be incorrectly imagined as a perfect match by Hence that year, following 'cute girl reading The Independent' who sat next to him in a coffee shop in early February (her engagement ring went unnoticed) and 'red-haired girl in Watchmen T-shirt' who passed him in the street in April (she thought it was an acid house logo).

Hence remains single.

He extrapolated wildly from her slightly hippy clothes and the top of a book protruding from her bag.

God invents practical jokes

did you know?

Scotland is made entirely out of papier-mâché. It was constructed in 1904 to lure over American tourists. This explains the ridiculous clothing/accent/musical instruments/cuisine/facial hair.

There's nothing in The Bible about not smoking!

6 "Don't be soft, it's not even loaded"

Mustard #01: Graham LinehanMustard #02: Michael PalinMustard #03: Peep Show's Bain & ArmstrongMustard #04: Alan MooreMustard #05a: Stewart LeeMustard #05b: Richard HerringMustard #06: John LloydMustard #07: Robin InceMustard #08: Portlandia's Carrie Brownstein & Fred Armisen

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